Couples therapy can help you rekindle your passion and break the cycles of conflict and distance that are tearing you apart...
Would You Like a More Fulfilling Relationship?
Relationships can have great high and great lows...
When we depend on others for comfort, support, and feelings that we matter, it is easy to get disappointed and angry when our partner isn't quite as responsive to our needs as we would like them to be.
When we express our feelings about what is missing, our partner may feel criticized instead of sympathetic to us, and we may end up feeling even more alienated, alone, or distant in the process.
Over time chronic unresolved dissatisfactions may lead to build up of resentment, increased arguments, tendencies to disengage, and thoughts about ending the relationship...
Is Couples Therapy for Me?
Do you feel like something is missing from your relationship?
Do you seem to rehash the same old arguments?
Do you fear that you are slowly drifting apart?
Do you feel resentful or hurt about past betrayals or disappointments?
Are you losing hope that things can change?
If so, it might be time to see a couples therapist:
Couples Therapy is a systematic way to look at all the dimensions needed to have a strong and healthy relationship.
A strong friendship: feeling connected emotionally and knowing each other's inner worlds...
Good communication: The ability to dialogue about problems, recover from fights, and accept influence from your partner...
Shared meaning: Agreement about where the relationship is headed, and the ability to create meaningful rituals for how we - as a couple - do things...
The ability to trust: The ability to be emotionally and sexually committed to your partner and open yourself up emotionally and sexually...
The Secret to Fighting Less:
Learn how Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) can help you stop the vicious cycle of fighting that turns couples into enemies...
What to Expect in Couples Therapy?
As an emotionally-focused couples therapist my first job is to create a safe and comfortable environment where you can feel comfortable opening up to each other.
I help create an environment where you both feel understood and where neither of you feel ganged up or alone with your experiences. We then work together to get a more complete picture of where your feelings and reactions are coming from and how you can talk to each other honestly about your feelings without starting another argument.
Throughout the course of the therapy, you will learn to communicate more effectively, will get tools to stop or sidestep arguments, and will feel more empowered to be yourself and not feel like you have to walk on eggshells around each other.
Choosing a Couples Therapist:
Choosing a couples therapist can be anxiety-provoking: How do you know who will be the right fit for you or who is best qualified to help you with your particular concerns?
Choose a therapist with training in couples therapy:
Not every therapist offering couples counseling has received specialized training in couples and marriage counseling. When choosing a couples therapist, I recommend asking your therapist if they are certified in a specific approach to couples therapy. This is your guarantee that they have the knowledge and experience needed to be most effective.
When choosing a couples therapist the method being used by your therapist makes a difference. Very few couples therapy approaches have actual evidence that supports their effectiveness. To this day, Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is one of the only couples therapy approaches that has substantial research support documenting that it really works.
Research on emotionally-focused couples therapy has shown that upon completed treatment, 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and approximately 90% show significant improvements.
> Click here to read more about the research on the effectiveness of EFT
Make an informed decision:
Another good way to judge if a couples therapist will be right for you is to see if their ideas about marriage and relationships make sense to you. I don't expect you to choose me blindly, so I provide lots of free resources on my website and my blog so you can familiarize yourself with how I think and work.
What kind of couples go to couples and marriage counseling?
Some people think seeing a couples therapist must mean there is something terribly wrong with them. They think they should be able to handle their concerns on their own. Fact is, couples therapy and marriage counseling is beneficial to most relationships, even those without big problems. We can all benefit from improving how we communicate and relate to each other and we all inevitably get stuck in different areas of our relationship
What can couples therapy and marriage counseling accomplish that we couldn't accomplish ourselves?
It is extremely difficult for any couple to stand outside their daily interactions so they can begin to look at the chains of events that lead to negative results. A couples therapist can help both partners have a look at their relationship from a third perspective, and can help facilitate new ways of interacting that lead to new understandings and different results.
Is there any guarantee that couples therapy will work?
The effectiveness of couples therapy depends on many factors, some of which have to do with you and your partner, and some of which have to do with your therapist and their approach. Couples therapy works best for couples where both partners are committed to the therapy process, are motivated to make things work, and are willing to be open, honest, and introspective. Research has shown that when such couples are seen for EFT couples therapy for 10-20 sessions, 70-75% move from distress to recovery, and 90% show significant improvements.
Is couples therapy and marriage counseling really worth the money?
Couples therapy and marriage counseling is an investment in having a stronger relationship. Over the long term it may prevent you from splitting up or getting divorced. It may save you from both great emotional and financial costs. You have to consider what your relationship is worth to you and whether or not you want to prioritize spending money on greater relationship satisfaction.
How many couples counseling sessions do we need to attend before we see improvements?
In general, a completed EFT couples therapy takes between 10 and 20 sessions depending on the severity of the conflicts a couple is wrestling with. Nevertheless, you begin to laern new things about yourself your partner, and your relationship right away, and after 5 sessions you are likely to have a good initial understanding of the key patterns in your relationship.
What is EFT Couples therapy?
Emotionally-focused couples therapy is a specific method to helping couples fight less and feel closer and safer in their connection with each other. It is based on research in attachment theory and emotion theory and follows specific proven methods to helpng couples go through the steps and stages of building a secure relationship. At this time, EFT is one of the only couple therapies that has substantial research proving its effectiveness. To read more about the EFT method, read my blog post:
Couples therapy and marriage counseling is not always covered by health insurance plans. Check with your provider to see if you have coverage. I don't work directly with any insurance providers, but can provide documentation to submit for "out-of-network" reimbursement, if you have this kind of coverage.
How confidential is the therapy?
When you see a psychologist, your treatment record and the information you share is protected by strict confidentiality laws. This means that no one can get access to this information unless you both give your written permission. Certain exceptions do exist, so please read the full conditions of treatment here: